Always
by lovesmesomebooth
Summary: Companion piece to A Final Goodbye. Can be read alone. Harry says goodbye to Snape as we all had to say goodbye to the man that brought him to life. RIP Alan Rickman. You were brilliant!


The images Harry had seen had weighed on his heart. He never really knew the Potion's Master at all. It would never excuse the man's behavior, but Harry understood. A bit. The love that Harry felt when those memories flashed through his head was debilitating. Harry didn't think he would ever love someone the way Snape loved Harry's mother. The thought made his heart hurt all the more. Harry paced through the castle and had to figure out what he was going to do. The stone weighed in his pocket. He knew he should have gone straight to the Headmaster's office, but Snape was weighing on his mind. He only hoped that he was doing the right thing. He let his feet drag him down the familiar stone steps of the lower reaches of the castle until he found the always dreaded stairs to the dungeons. He took them at a steady pace, stealing himself for what he was about to do. When he reached the familiar classroom door, he hesitated. He wondered if he shouldn't actually talk to Dumbledore first. With a deep breath, he nodded and opened the door.

It was eerie, being in this classroom after so long. Harry inhaled a deep breath and let a smile cross his face. That smell would forever be Snape. The smell of cloves, and parchment, and fire. Harry took a tentative look around, half expecting to be reprimanded for being out of bounds. After a few minutes, Harry walked to the back of the class and placed his hand on the door, waiting still for Snape to jump out at him. With a shaking hand, Harry opened the door to Snape's office. Harry figured the best thing for both of them would be to have Snape in a familiar place. Harry flicked his wand and let the sconces bathe the room in dim lighting. Harry squinted and waved his wand again, but the sconces never brightened.

"Well that explains his foul mood. The man must have had a wicked headache, grading papers in this lighting." Harry shook his head and walked in front of the desk at the back of the room. He pulled a chair over and pulled the stone from his pocket. He sat heavily in the chair and, before he lost his nerve, rotated the stone thrice, his mind solely on the smell of cloves and the man it was connected to. He snapped his eyes open, waiting to at the very least _feel_ the man's presence, but there was nothing. Harry closed his eyes again, concentrating on Snape. The harsh features, the crisp movements, the unmistakable smell of cloves, and that one of a kind voice. He brought all of it to the front of his mind and let everything else go.

"What in Merlin's name have you done, you idiotic dunderhead?" Harry's eyes snapped open and his breath hitched. _Bad idea, bad idea, Merlin help me, bad idea._ Harry looked up and he almost laughed. Sitting behind his desk, just as stern as you please, was the former Headmaster of Hogwarts. Harry sputtered, but couldn't speak. "Just as eloquent as ever, I see. One would think defeating the Dark Lord would have straightened that spine of yours." Harry released the breath he was holding and allowed a small smile to play on his lips. This was familiar. This he could handle.

"Your snark loses some of its bite when you're mostly invisible, sir." The vision of Snape scowled, but it didn't have the same hold as when the man was alive. Harry's heart sank with sadness. Harry took a deep breath. "I'm not going to keep you here long, sir, I know it's not fair. I want to believe you are in a better place now. That somehow you can find peace. I never really knew it before, but you meant the world to me. I'm aware it doesn't make any sense. We never knew each other. Not really. But whether I needed it or not, you were there. I never really knew it, but I could count on you. When my life was chaotic- let's face it, that was all the time- you were there, like a rock that would anchor me. I could count on you to see me through the hardest times. You were a constant in a world that was ever-changing. I always knew what to expect from you. You never treated me like The-Boy-Who-Lived, although I might have welcomed it from you. Might have made classes a bit bearable. I'm pretty certain I thought you had it out for me every year. Well, you probably did, but not for the reasons I thought. I suppose if I were more observant, I would have noticed that I never ended up in one of your potions. For what it's worth, you were brilliant. Your teaching skills left a lot to be desired, but there is no doubt of your abilities; in and out of the classroom. I wish I better understood your role at the time, and I am very sorry for the things you had to do. You played your roles brilliantly. All of them. You were seamless. I want to thank you for playing every one of them. I'm botching this up pretty badly, but there really aren't enough words to express my gratitude for you. I am a better person for having known you, and the world was a far better place with you in it." Harry was afraid to look at the man. He rambled and while he had said so much, he felt he had so much more to say. Harry doubted even if the man was still alive and he saw him every day, he could ever convey the sentiment he needed and wanted to. The silence was becoming too much. Harry looked at the apparition of his old Professor and couldn't help his head tilting to the side in curiosity. Snape was sitting behind his desk, but instead of the sneer Harry was suspecting, there was the very faint hint of a smile.

"Such Hufflepuff sentiment from the poster child for Gryffindor. Would have never suspected." Harry narrowed his eyes.

"You just can't handle someone being nice to you, can you?" There was no heat behind his words, he was genuinely curious.

"It makes me quite uncomfortable." Harry dropped his jaw, not really expecting any answer, let alone that one. "You may want to close your mouth." Harry snapped his jaw closed.

"I realize that things had to go the way they did, but I really wish they didn't. You really loved her, huh?" Harry could see Snape's jaw clench. "Forget I asked that. I just want you to know that despite it all, despite everything, you were appreciated. You are appreciated. I wouldn't be standing here now if it weren't for you. I'm going to make sure your name is cleared. You deserve as much."

"That is unnece-"

"It is completely necessary!"

"It is unnecessary, but I thank you." Harry looked embarrassed.

"Sorry. Old habits, ya know." Harry shrugged. The next instant, Snape looked pained. He tried to hide it, but Harry knew the man well enough. Harry took a shuttering breath. He didn't want to let him go. His heart started to hurt, but he knew he couldn't keep him. It was absurd to think that he didn't want to let his old professor go, that the urge to keep him was so strong. "Goodbye professor. I really do hope you have found peace. You deserve it."

"Thank you, Harry." The voice was so soft that Harry thought he imagined it. He gave a sad smile.

"Always." Snape closed his eyes. Harry closed the connection and placed the stone in his pocket. Snape faded away slower than Harry would have expected. With a heavy heart and a few unshed tears, Harry stood and ran his hands across the giant desk. Harry tapped the table top twice and turned to leave. He would do anything he could to make the world know the kind of man Severus Snape was.


End file.
